Wednesday, June 29, 2005

EDing Souter's house

Great piece on the wire (AP) on a proposal to ED Justice Souter's house in Vermont.

good quotes:

The letter was passed along to the board of selectmen. If the five-member board were to endorse the hotel project, zoning laws would have to be changed and the hotel would have to get approval from the planning board. Messages seeking comment were left with Laura Buono, board chairwoman.

''Am I taking this seriously? But of course,'' said Charles Meany, Weare's code enforcement officer. ''In lieu of the recent Supreme Court decision, I would imagine that some people are pretty much upset. If it is their right to pursue this type of end, then by all means let the process begin.''


more interestingly - look at how cheap property in vermont is if you're a supreme court justice:

Souter's two-story colonial farmhouse is assessed at a little more than $100,000 and brought in $2,895 in property taxes last year.

rick perry decides not to eat red meat after all

from a nytimes article on the first "discovered" case of mad cow that originated in the US:

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas issued a statement urging citizens to remain calm and be reassured that they could trust the state's beef.

"I, for one, will continue to eat red meat, and intend to do so later tonight with complete confidence," Mr. Perry said. He later issued a revised statement that dropped the reference to his dinner plans but added that Texas beef was "as safe today as it was yesterday."

I think it's great he bailed on his dinner plans...chicken? (sorry for that one)

snarkyness continues

"to our knowledge, Bono has never performed a slightly-too-long solo with a hat"

source unimportant.

salim on the observer on bolsinga and some totally depressing shit

Salim's blog about the SF Observer's report of Erica's wild party in which Bolsinga's head gets clocked was mostly wonderful. Especially nice learning of the SFObserver's crime page being so totally 1920s style fantastic with references to "drug-slinging miscreants" etc.

This would have been all fun in games but for the reference to the pederast who was arrested for loitering in a playlot, and sent back to AZ, where he's apparently not out on parole (he being in SF, ogling children) - really this seems to be the problem with child molestors - we treat them like mentally ill homeless people - ship them off to somewheres else. I think this is simply horrible. As recent news reports indicate sending these types elsewhere is far worse than addressing the problem locally - for the record I'm for public stonings.

Seriously, if you have a conviction (in any state or country) for child molestation and you are in a park with children by yourself or with (an) other convicted child molester(s) you should be put in jail as if you molested a child. I know they're not sympathetic to child molesters in prison, so why do we tolerate them at all outside of prison?

bolsinga on bush

Greg referenced Bush's speech yesterday (I was at the Rachid Taha concert rockin' the casbah) on his notblog.

the quote:

"To complete the mission, we will prevent Al Qaida and other foreign terrorists from turning Iraq into what Afghanistan was under the Taliban: a safe haven from which they could launch attacks on America and our friends."

I find the syntax of this very weird. I suppose it's because I read this as "[In order] to complete the mission..." which makes the logic seem more twisted, but somehow more true.

I thought maybe a better quote would have been:

"It is our intent to stop Iraq from being what Afghanistan was under the Soviet occupying forces so that we can ensure it doesn't become what Afghanistan was under the Taliban. If we fail at this it will be really, really bad for the whole region, and the whole world, and totally our fault."

Thursday, June 23, 2005

whist waiting on brand x

I am really quite surprised about the ED decision from the SC today - and troubled of course...

I hope there is some calculus as to when "economic development" is worth it - that at least property owners will have the ability to make a showing that the development is not sufficient to merit the seizure of their property.

I also hope they can demonstrate if such development would be better elsewhere that it should occur there rather than as a result of the seizure of their property.

Sadly, I've spent enough time around local politics to know that more often than not "economic development" refers to the personal finances of friends of local politicians than the city as a whole.

I really was surprised at this decision - will have to see how the votes broke down to see if I was off-base on my assumptions.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

abramoff going to hell

yes, it's official. jack's going to hell. i bet tom wishes he could get even futher away from him now.

some highlights:

One e-mail obtained by the Senate committee shows that Abramoff and Scanlon charged the Mississippi Choctaws $7.7 million for projects in 2001. Of that, Scanlon spent $1.2 million on lobbying work, and he and Abramoff split the remaining $6.5 million.

umm,,, even when you're geting 500 bucks an hour it's pretty hard to justify that. coupled with the ficticious emails and receipts it's pretty safe to say he's going to jail for this. hope they put the bitch in a cell with a big mean indian too.

"trouble at the Coinstar!"

swanny emailed of a great adventure at the k-roger coinstar, which apparently doesn't like scandanavian monies (oh were it to see the bills I'm sure it would change it's little computer brain)

best quotes:

1) ...lots of "i ain't never seen no coins with holes in 'em, garsh,"... accusations of counterfeiting and banditry, mild allusions to insurgent activity, furrowed brows, recriminations...OH! Blessed Be The South, in Her Steadfast Lunacy!

2) ...the machine was opened to display the ugly mosaic of viking coinage, arrayed like Norsk chainmail in the complicated inner workings...i also accidentally forced in a golf tee, which didn't help my cause.

luvin' haight on public transportation

the drunk old man that got on the 71 said "I'm drunk and disabled" as he sat down in the disabled seats (unless his disability was very subtle it was his inebriation).

too bad he didn't shut up for the rest of the ride because he became increasingly less charming.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

the economists

Just go there.

great breakfast with lauren, william and the clientele

at kates naturally...

the clientele is off to the avalon in LA for their show tonight. woulda been nice to spend more time with them, but it was great seeing willy t.

and now for something completely different:

stumbled upon this rather entertaining line whilst looking up some trademark info:

Only medieval European armor is in this division. Viking armor is in Category 9.

Friday, June 17, 2005

a useless low-browed primitive skill

I'm doing some research on large format stereographs for an art project. I encountered this wonderful quote from a person who thinks you should only use a machine to view them, rather than crossing your eyes to view the middle, stereo image.

"This is called "free viewing." It's a useless low-browed primitive skill."

wow. gues he really don't like it. I wonder why?

oh:

"I don't happen to have it myself."

Thursday, June 16, 2005

okay, really this guy deserves his own post

mr. plaster jesus is really, really funny. gotta love the pgh.

some highlights:

Q: Yunz ain't really from Picksburgh, are yunz? Why would Jesus come dahn tahn? I bet yunz is near that brew pub that use to be a church. I don't know if that's Jesus but I know yunzs' shawer needs red up.
Jun-15-05
A: ... Hauscome Jesus come dahntahn n'at? Fer an ice cole arn, an Isaly's chipped chopped ham sammitch, anna Donnie Ahrs concert!

Q: Dear Shower Jesus: I must commend you for your listing and your compassion & patience for those who question this miraculous image. I was having a bad day when low and behold I happened upon your listing. Not long after I saw this wonderful photograph I won a scratch-off lottery card, my cat came back after going AWOL and my goldfish is looking perkier. I heard my favorite song on the radio and sure enough.... I found out I am being treated for dinner. An old friend called and apologised for not paying me back 15 years ago. The pain in my elbow is gone! Do you think Shower Jesus is responsible for all this? And if I wake up tommorrow and find out I won the Powerball will you allow me to bid on your auction? Praise Shower Jesus! Hallelujeh!
Jun-15-05
A: Have you considered the possibility that you could have just had a really, REALLY lucky day? I mean, even that dorky redneck farmboy got to marry Britney Spears for a few hours.


Q: ".....Cheerful Givers are the Ones God Prizes."..... II Corinthians 9:7 ......
Jun-15-05
A: "...Mix sour cream and pesto until well blended. Sprinkle with tomato. Serve with vegtables.".... Creamy Pesto Dip - Betty Crocker's Quick & Easy Cookbook, p.11


Q: How are you going to send that to the winner?
Jun-15-05
A: I was planning on packing it up and shipping it with insurance... Although we could investigate the possibilities for fossilized DNA extraction, incubation, and cloning of a passenger pigeon. If of course you desire more drama in your chosen form of Icon transport.


Q: I'm thinking your throne might be concealing yet another work of art from the great beyond! Don't know what you do for a living, but you should consider writing. Your comments are a hoot. Good luck!
Jun-15-05
A: I have concealed quite a few pieces from the great beyond in that throne, no doubt.


Q: I'm looking for a piece of fruit (preferrably melon) with an image of Carol Channing, or maybe Liza Minelli (pre-alcoholic).
Jun-15-05
A: Would a spanish peanut bearing a striking resemblence to the late, great Abe Vigoda suffice?


Q: THIS SELLER AND ALL BIDDERS WILL BURN IN HELL FOR PARTAKING IN THIS UNHOLY AUCTION! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS BLASPHEMY! ALL PRAISE ALLAH!!
Jun-15-05
A: Dude - you recently purchased a Sea Monkey doll using BuyItNow. The only thing that you should be praising are your parents for letting you live in their basement.


Q: Will you accept Paypal buyer credit? I need a payment plan as I can't afford to buy this item and tithe at the same time.
Jun-15-05
A: Yes, PayPal buyer credit is accepted. And, for what its worth, the Law of Moses was cancelled at the cross. There is no mandate for tithing. Feel free to party like its 417 A.D.!


Q: If I can't come up with $1,999.99, would you accept 30 pieces of silver?
Jun-15-05
A: Sorry, this isn't WoW. If it was, then this trinket would certainly grant the holder +5 fire resistance. Plus, that cute night elf hunter you've had your eye on might finally come around.


Q: To tell you the truth, it kinda looks like Zantar (the fortune machine the kid wished to on the movie "Big" starring Tom Hanks. Have you attempted to disconnect your electricity and wish for goods or services? What would you wish for?
Jun-14-05
A: Unfortunately, I do not live near Coney Island. Neato idea, though.


Q: What's this now?
Jun-14-05
A: This an auction of water-stained plaster on eBay (a part of the intarweb). If you are pointing at something else while asking that question, I'm afraid that I cannot be of any assistance.


Q: I hope the .65 cents you spent for this stupid auction was worth it.
Jun-14-05
A: I don't think that anyone has spent .65 cents on anything in about 200 years. They invented the penny and decided to round things up to whole cents at that time.


Q: What makes you think that is the way Jesus looked any? The stain does resemble a mans face, but if you never seen Jesus how can you claim it looks like him.
Jun-14-05
A: I tend to go with my gut instinct. When i saw the face, I exclaimed "Jesus Christ!" without hesitation. Other people may see Ted Nugent, Steven Wright, Frank Zappa, or Charles Manson. But I rarely, if ever, hear anyone suddenly exclaim "Frank Zappa!" in my day-to-day passings.


Q: If Shower Jesus got into a fight with Salt-Stain Jesus and Potato-Chip Jesus, who would win? I'd like to bid on the winner.
Jun-14-05
A: Shower Jesus would win. Potato-Chip Jesus would get wet and soggy, and Salt-Stain Jesus would dissolve. Hypothetically, I mean.

Q: Have you gone insane? If some twit does actually purchase this moldy wall depicting Jesus, will you donate the money to the church or buy some comet cleaner?
Jun-14-05
A: I dont have any comets that need cleaning. To be honest, I'm actually surprised that there is even a market for that type of cleaner.


Q: Have you considered taking Clorox to the mold in your bathroom?
Jun-13-05
A: Are you suggesting that I bleach his hair and beard? That might look bitchin' - good idea.


Q: here is proof that jesus liked his wine: clearly his friends have shaved his eyebrows off. do you concur?
Jun-13-05
A: While it wasn't a popular style of the time, Jesus was a trend-setter. He was hardly a conformist, ya know?


Q: How much would you charge to let me come pray in your bathtub?
Jun-13-05
A: That service is not offered at this time. Some have chosen to pray to the porcelain god just on the other side of the wall, though.


Q: Good Luck, Looks like Rob Reiner to me.
Jun-13-05
A: Tally: Jesus, Shakespeare, Cat Stevens, the lead singer of Nickleback, Apollonius of Tyana, David Crosby, the Zig-Zag rolling papers guy, John Lennon ...


Q: Do you happen to have any plaster wall Apollonius of Tyana?
Jun-13-05
A: No, I apologize. If I come across one (or any other miracle worker from the age) I will let everyone know.


Q: Are you sure that's jesus? Or is it a collection of stubbles that landed there after years of you shaving your hairy legs in the tub? thanks --kg
Jun-13-05
A: I will have to direct that question to my girlfriend. I am not wise in the ways of stubble displacement.


Q: Hi, Does Shower Jesus have the abiliy to turn water into wine? If so, can I buy the showerhead too?
Jun-13-05
A: Wow - another excellent question! Personally, I have not seen such an event occur. As much as I would enjoy a nice, dry merlot I do not think that my hair would have quite the same sheen that it carries these days.


Q: This looks like a load bearing Jesus... will I be responsible if your bathrooms collapses when I try to remove him?
Jun-13-05
A: Jesus can carry quite the heavy load, indeed. I would hope that the party selected to remove the section would be qualified to make such decisions, and the insurance to cover unforeseen circumstances.

whilst inquiring into the cost of stained plaster in pittsburgh

I discovered a great op-ed piece in the pittsburgh tribune (while looking for an article on the cost of a jesus stained piece of bathroom plaster - the ebay post features great questions and answers including:
Q: Yunz ain't really from Picksburgh, are yunz? Why would Jesus come dahn tahn? I bet yunz is near that brew pub that use to be a church. I don't know if that's Jesus but I know yunzs' shawer needs red up.
Jun-15-05
A: ... Hauscome Jesus come dahntahn n'at? Fer an ice cole arn, an Isaly's chipped chopped ham sammitch, anna Donnie Ahrs concert!)
and how, now onto the original secondary item of interest:

White skin: The no-hassle passport
(by mike seate)

One glance at the bug-eyed stare and the weird, devil-lock haircut should have been enough to let U.S. border guards know there was something wrong with Gregory Despres.
Despres, 22, made it through the U.S.-Canada border on April 25, carrying a now-infamous cargo that included a bloody chain saw and a shirt that looked like Hannibal Lecter's bib.

Depres' ability to enter the country with blood on his clothes splashed egg on the faces of the border guards after news surfaced that Despres was wanted in connection with an assault on Frederick Mowat of New Brunswick, Maine.

Our eagle-eyed guardians would further learn that Despres also is suspected of slicing and dicing Mowat's grandfather, Fred Fulton, and his common-law wife, Verna Decarie.

Authorities say they had no reason or evidence to hold Despres as he waited 15 minutes to cross the border. No evidence, that is, aside from the bloody chain saw, two pairs of brass knuckles and Despres' statement that he is "a trained assassin with over 700 kills."

The Despres case raises a critical question: If a guy who looks like a prop from a Metallica video shows up at the border with a sack of swords, knives and blood, and can get through, what chance is there of stopping a bona fide international terrorist from entering the U.S. via Canada?

Not much, I'm afraid.

Being a frequent traveler, I'm here to regretfully inform you that Despres was able to enter the U.S. without much hassle because he arrived at the border with the one important qualification:

He is white.

I know, I know; I'll be accused of playing the race card during a discussion of national security. But ask almost any black person who's traveled overseas, and he'll offer stories of being stopped, stripped and searched.

Border security is all about race cards. How much scrutiny the agents choose to give an individual traveler has everything to do with how much he looks like one of bin Laden's homeboys.

Take my travels on Sept. 13, 2001, for example. With the federal government canceling all flights, my family vacation to Europe turned into a drive to Toronto.

At the border, I was escorted from the car and held in a detention center for several hours. Why?

As one agent said, I "looked suspicious."

Meanwhile, as our car was searched, I watched two truckloads of white men, each carrying a field pack, hunting rifle and wearing camouflage, get not only a green light at the border, but a chat with several guards about the best hunting spots in Ontario.

For the sake of security, let's hope any terrorists who cross over from Canada are black. If they're not, chances are the doors into this country will swing wide open for them.

Maybe they already have.

the crap that falls out of your mouth

been listening to an mp3 of Michelle Marchassualt called kryptonite.

The creative process is so complicated. Time and place, communication between disparate entities, and of course, sadly, money - all of these things affect and effect the result. Her old band, Sardina, was, for me, one of those perfect time and place things - their old loft on archer - the ballroom. PJ, Lon-Paul, Michelle. So akward and wonderful at the same time.

hoping to see her in Austin next month...sad when you can't get in touch with one of your favorite peoples...

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

sbc company limo

saw ed whitacre on his way to get picked up after a round of meet and greets at the commission (impressed that he was unescorted by lackies actually). was rather entertained by the car I saw in the limo pickup zone:



better yet was ed's response to my comment "the sbc company limo's here already":

spracht ed: "nothin' but the best"

see, there's funny people in texas.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

In which I mimic Salim, my lost sibbling

Slim and I coffeed with Tammy at Citizen Cake this morning. two things:

she rocks. really. a reason to go to a great place.

salim rocks too.

so here's the deal: the best part of the 80s has been forgotten - mix tapes. as in tapes. the real deal. fuck cds man, that's almost ruined it. may even have ruined it. sadly my tape deck ate my last tribe called quest tape and I've never trusted it since then. maybe my next present to self...

Monday, June 13, 2005

everybody's working for the weekend

I had a great weekend.

Here are some things I got to do this weekend:

Spend more than 5 hours with Mary (with whom I did most if not all of the following:).

Have great conversations with Alex's friends from both in and out of town at Limon (which was generally very good).

Eat a very slow brunch with Pete and Jen.

Shoot potato guns with Jen and Katy at the Albany Bulb.

Invite Alex over to shoot potato guns, walk around Lake Merrit

Go shopping at the whole foods and make a super tasty barbeque (marinated asparagus, skewared goodness including fennel, and corn on the cob) to which we invited Sarah and Seth.

Watched a movie (donnie darko, duh) with Sarah and Seth after I took Alex to BART.

Slept a lot!!!

Went to Vallejo to brunch with Rebecca at 324 (which was pretty good, but not great).

Walked across the Carquinez bridge (and back, duh)

Ate tasty left overs and fruit salad after looking at Sarah's art.

Went to sleep early!!!

Whoo-hoo!!!

jenny jenny who can I turn to?

Several moons ago my friend Jenny sent me the entire body of emails she composed as she trekked across southeast asia. They were particuarly awesome.

She owns the entirety of these contents.

Friday, June 10, 2005

''They would tie them to a tree and use shells and scrape their skin off and dig out their entrails.''

man, I hate when that happens. needless to say, having your head smashed with a rock is much better.

from this story on my second favorite daughter of the algonquin nation:

Museum Displays Pocahontas' Earrings
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: June 10, 2005
Filed at 4:24 p.m. ET

LONDON (AP) -- A pair of mussel shell earrings set in silver and believed to be among the only surviving possessions of legendary American Indian princess Pocahontas went on display at a London museum Friday in their first public showing since 1907.

Each earring is formed of a double mussel-shell, the rare white kind found on the eastern shore of the Berings Strait. They are set in silver rims, inlaid with mother-of-pearl, and are worth approximately $500,000.

Pocahontas, daughter of Chief Powhatan of the Algonquin Nation, gained fame for keeping peace and serving as an ''ambassador'' between American Indians and British settlers.

Little is known with any certainty about her, but her life has been memorialized in stories, songs and images.

By legend, she saved Capt. John Smith from execution in 1607 before being captured by the English in 1612 and used as a pawn in dealing with her father. She converted to Christianity in 1613 and married tobacco planter John Rolfe a year later.

She sailed for London in 1616 to great fanfare in a trip aimed at obtaining funding for a Jamestown Christian school for American Indian children. She may have received the earrings during that trip. She died in 1617 and was buried at St. George's Church in Gravesend, near London.

The earrings were handed down through the Rolfe family and now belong to the Association for Preservation of Virginia Antiquities.

''She is often referred to as an ambassador between two cultures. You can see her coming (to London) and dying here and being buried here as evidence of that, as sort of a link between the two countries,'' said Bly Straube of the Virginia antiquities group.

Legend has it that Pocahontas' link to the colonists began when she flung herself over Smith to save him from execution by her father, who had made Smith place his neck on a rock.

But anthropologists examining Smith's papers believe he may have misunderstood what happened. Straube said the tribe only meant to initiate Smith as family through a ritual in which the tribe leader's daughters welcomed him.

''The Indian way of killing people was not to lay them against a rock and bash out their brains,'' Straube said. ''They would tie them to a tree and use shells and scrape their skin off and dig out their entrails.''

The earrings were sent from Virginia for the exhibition at the Museum of Docklands marking the upcoming 400th anniversary of the first permanent British settlement in America at Jamestown, Va., which was founded in 1607. They will be on display until July 10, when they will be moved back for the 2006 opening of a new museum of colonial artifacts.

The Jamestown collection from the early 17th century also includes tobacco pipes, freshwater pearls and a silver ear pick, a tool for cleaning earwax that was regarded as a symbol of high social class.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

on moving to idaho

“I’m forced to live in an area with no smog, very little traffic and almost no tree-hugging frog lickers."

this found while looking for a long lost st. x compadre Jay Landers, not to be confused with the A&R guy of the same name.

ahhh....idaho.

editing is not the same as proofreading

recalled a great conversation with Perry White about being sure things are correct before sending them out. he said:
"spell checking is not the same as proofreading. proofreading is not the same as thinking"

here's what caused the memory:

in this article in the nytimes I found these editor/author's notes:

**speculation about its origins — Saddam era? does it say anything about the the insurgents’ communications structure that they had cleared out before raided? comment on that? In an initial statement, the military did not say exactly when the bunkers were discovered, but that the find came as part of “ongoing operations” being conducted in Anbar Province in the last three days. During those operations, troops with the Second Marine Division located about 50 weapons and ammunition caches. Seven were discovered in the immediate area of the rock quarry, Capt. Pool said in an e-mail interview.


kinda interesting. reminds me of the rather long but interesting documentary on the editorial practices of the nytimes featuring a lot of noam chomp-chomp-chomsky (insert max headroom twitch). that one was mostly focused on east timor. what was it called again???
before I could even get to imdb it came to me: manufacturing consent. the subtitle was something along the line of noam chomsky's war on the media or somesuch.

I was going to link to the imdb site but the "review" of the film is just a personal political story by someone raised by "poor, intellectual musicians" it made me want to hurl.

Friday, June 03, 2005

you might think that you know but do you know what?

You do not know.

I fixed the potato gun that failed so miserably at the beach tonight. woulda been a great surprise for T Rizzle to have pics of Alex, cannon in hand.

Moral of the story:

more fuel.

bigger sparks too.

also:

deoderant works way better than hairspray.

loud enough to cause one's ears to ring. really. 8 seconds of flight time for the potato in the parking lot once I got everything up and running.

I found this handy measurement which reminded me I was a bit off in my guesstimates of how high the potatoes were shooting:

At the end of one second the object has fallen 16 feet, at the end of two seconds it has fallen a total of 64 feet, at the end of three seconds it has fallen a total of 144 feet,and at the end of four seconds a total of 256 feet.

also bolsinga put up great pics.

mcvirji

came over for an invisible cup of coffee this morn on his way to the airsport de oakland. he was all too happy to fire the potato gun (and who, beside bolsinga, wouldn't be?). finally got to give him the orkney skull splitter too.

he did rightly point out something funny.

bolsinga had mentioned he drove last night for the first time in two weeks, salim noted the irony of doing so on the UN world environment day.

ha.

that and of course burning aerosol fired hairspray.

double ha.

if you don't have to be a potato clock...

...you should definitely get a potato gun.



much thanks to lee and luke for gettin' hitched with one of these to turn me on to them.

40 bucks and well under an hour later a new and dangerous toy was born.

this is exactly the reason mary is so unwilling to travel for work anymore.

some energy was spent fussing with the electronic ignition, which should be set into the chamber rather than along its side as near as I can figure.

christian and greg were instrumental in the destruction, today I will struggle with "what next?" and hopefully waste my friday night setting about to gettin' to it.

note to self: shooting a wad of toilet paper wrapped lightly/partially with electrical tape is ALMOST safe enough for shooting at each other.



one last thing I should add:

we fired this off for 45 minutes in front of our building with absolutely no problems from the cops, which is kind of amazing given the volume of the thing - of course the cops did only tell the kids beating the shit out of each other with baseball bats to stop fighting and leave the area so what should I expect?